Thoughtful insights that had never occurred to me, as a non-therapist. Am torn between wanting to reassure you that you were successful as a therapist and letting the results (the patient ultimately confronting his parents) speak for themselves. Nice article.
I could not help feeling how much his hesitation to approach you, to love you mirrored his hesitation to approach & love men. "Confused about his orientation", "I'm just not sure how to do this", "He wanted what wasn't allowed, historically". What a lovely case.
As a client, I do not need you to like me. You can help me most by modeling direct-ness. Let's get to the point; this is life or death, do or die. I am an adult. My life is no longer Mom's and Dad's responsibility. No one can save me but me. It would help me if you bring me back to this reality, by not just talk but by your facial expressions, your body language, and puleese leave the distraction of your history, your issues, out of the room. Let me project what I think they are; it will tell you a lot. I can be glib, evasive, when inside I am so sad. I am angry. You want to see it? Tell me about my dress that red is such an angry color. I might not admit that I am angry, but I will consider for decades that my outside may not match my inside and that every time I showed my hand, it resulted in violence, which is why I am afraid of my anger and the hurt it can cause. Just a loving suggestion; you want that patient to do something, model the behavior. Let a tear run down your face when I am trying (and failing) to hide the sorrow in which I am drowning.
Thoughtful insights that had never occurred to me, as a non-therapist. Am torn between wanting to reassure you that you were successful as a therapist and letting the results (the patient ultimately confronting his parents) speak for themselves. Nice article.
Thank you!
I could not help feeling how much his hesitation to approach you, to love you mirrored his hesitation to approach & love men. "Confused about his orientation", "I'm just not sure how to do this", "He wanted what wasn't allowed, historically". What a lovely case.
Thank you! 🙏🏽
As a client, I do not need you to like me. You can help me most by modeling direct-ness. Let's get to the point; this is life or death, do or die. I am an adult. My life is no longer Mom's and Dad's responsibility. No one can save me but me. It would help me if you bring me back to this reality, by not just talk but by your facial expressions, your body language, and puleese leave the distraction of your history, your issues, out of the room. Let me project what I think they are; it will tell you a lot. I can be glib, evasive, when inside I am so sad. I am angry. You want to see it? Tell me about my dress that red is such an angry color. I might not admit that I am angry, but I will consider for decades that my outside may not match my inside and that every time I showed my hand, it resulted in violence, which is why I am afraid of my anger and the hurt it can cause. Just a loving suggestion; you want that patient to do something, model the behavior. Let a tear run down your face when I am trying (and failing) to hide the sorrow in which I am drowning.
New rules emerging...
Thanks for reading, friend. Emergent systemic adaptation.